So Lea Delaria, a lesbian comic, caved to pressures from the trans community and backed out of Michfest. Great. Grand. Wonderful. Bravo for her, really. Bravo that she was able to prioritize the concerns of males over those of lesbians, over those of her fan base.
I have to be honest, I’m pretty pissed off about this.
In backing out of Michfest, Delaria cited “in-fighting” within the LGBT community.
There is in-fighting within the LGBT community. There’s no doubt about that. However, might I posit that the in-fighting is due to the fact that “T” does not belong with the LGB?
Gender identity and sexuality are two fundamentally different things. The M2T activists never stop harping on this point. We cannot question their sexuality, we cannot question their penises, we cannot question their histories.
Okay then, let’s at least admit that the problems of a heterosexual man who “feels” like a woman are in no way related to my strife as an actual woman who is an actual lesbian. Maybe it’s time for us to part ways. Maybe it’s time we wish each other good luck, give each other a kiss on the cheek, and say, “Adieu, until we meet again.”
If women’s work was “finished,” I wouldn’t be writing this blog post. If women and girls weren’t being systemically brutalized, I wouldn’t bother with this topic at all. It is, after all, exhausting. But women are still systemically oppressed, brutalized, exploited and therefore I cannot, in good faith, accommodate the “special feelings” of men who have convinced themselves that they are female because they like Barbie Dolls, high heels and the color pink. I just cannot do it.
Frankly, I am all in favor of a world where a boy can like Barbie Dolls and ballerina shoes, where a boy can wear a dress without being surgically or medically altered out of his perfect, human state.
Gender is an oppressive construct, and female/male is a biological reality. Liking pink, wanting long hair, and disliking your body is not “proof” that you are female, it is merely proof you live in a world that is oppressively patriarchal. All women dislike their bodies – by “trans logic,” all women are “trans.”
But we’re not. And you know what? Women and gays need a fucking break from the trans agenda – an agenda that prioritizes gender norms, fetishizes subjugation, and uses stereotypical (misogynistic) markers to define women’s/lesbian’s reality.
We are not in a place as a society, a country, a planet where we can afford to redefine womanhood. We are definitely not in a place where we should willingly redefine “woman”/”gay” based on a straight man’s understanding of that word – and yet, that’s exactly what we’re doing.
As I am wont, I will end this on an anecdote.
When I first moved to the town where I now live, I wanted to get involved in the (very small) lesbian community. Then I realized that the ONLY lesbian group in my town was run by transwomen and populated, almost exclusively, by transwomen – but they were “lesbians,” you see.
Before you flip the fuck out on me, let me tell you that I have eyes. You can invert your dick, take enough Estrogen to kill a cow, and I can still see that you are male. Women are not idiots.
And as a lesbo, I guess I’m a big ol’ transphobe for not wanting to join up with the lesbian group run by heterosexual men.