Where is my lady brain?

An asshole I once worked with once said, during a meeting, “In the good old days, men controlled three things: language, currency, and women.” The other white men in the room (everyone in the room was white, only I was female) enjoyed a hearty chuckle – this was HIGHBROW misogyny, as we were discussing The Odyssey, so it was permissible – at least, that’s what I was implicitly led to believe. And, at the end of the day, this is what being a woman is about – sitting in a room full of men and shutting the fuck up because your job/your reputation/your value is contingent upon whether or not they approve of you. I was very young, and had I called the old boys out on their sexist bullshit, I likely would have been told that I was overreacting, or that I took it “the wrong way.”

Oh, how I enjoy my cisprivilege!

In any case, what strikes me now about this memory is that there’s nothing “good old days” about men’s control over language, currency and women. This is not a thing of the past. Men still control currency. Men still control women. Men still control language — Transwomen are WOMEN. Men are the arbiters of what woman is, what woman means. Anyone who refuses to play their semantic games is rendered a bigot.  And if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably a woman who already knows all this, so I won’t belabor the point.

One concept that drives transideology, that I find both hilarious and horrifying, is the notion of “lady brain.” I have had people posit, with a straight fucking face, that “sex is not what’s between your legs, it’s what’s between your ears.”

Um, okay.

So I wanted to get all academic up in this blog and find a bunch of quotes about men theorizing on “women’s brains” – and my god, they are legion – from Aristotle to Freud to Chad Molloy (my apologies to Aristotle and Freud). But instead of being scholarly, I consulted the great oracle (Google) typed in “lady brain” and early results brought me to this image (which, by the way, is not from a CAT scan):


I guess this is supposed to be funny.  And while incredibly stupid, it’s pretty on par with the trans movement’s ideas about “brain sex.” Ladies like chocolate. Ladies are bad drivers. Ladies can’t park. (That was a new one to me, but given that we can’t drive, I guess it stands to reason that we also can’t park.) Ladies love to shop – innately! (How convenient for capitalism, by the way.) Yes, this graphic is moronic and unfunny, but it is also a strangely perfect illustration of what people want women to accept when they say things like “sex is between your ears” or “I feel like a woman because I have womanly thoughts.” Sometimes, I wish the trans activists would just be fucking honest and instead of trying to po-mo ‘splain, instead of trying to theorize, just admit that THIS is what they believe about females. That THIS is what they mean when they say, “I feel like a woman.” They believe in lady brains.

Nothing affiliated with ladybrain is ever good – I mean, for ladies. Lady brain is great for dudes, because it ensures that we will remain servile and “nice,” not because we’ve been conditioned to do so, but because that’s how our lady brain is programmed to operate.  Men LOVE talking about lady brains. They always have. Men love to believe in lady brain because the concept itself creates a “scientific precedent” for them to be our overlords. (I’m sorry though – there’s no scientific evidence to support the lady brain theory. It’s simply a misogynistic tool – fetishized by men, used to oppress actual women.)

Lady brain suggests women are stupid and petty by nature. Lady brain dismisses the necessity of feminist thought – I mean, if your penchant for “shiny things” and “love of gossip” is biologically coded into your DNA, then there ain’t no fixing it, and there’s no reason to critique that which is innate, and so you might as well submit.

I find the ladybrain idea baffling because it illustrates a fundamental contradiction in translogic. They want women to accept penis as female. They want women to accept that woman is an idea – “Whatever anyone wants it to be!” And then they want women to believe in ladybrain as the one, essential, only biological reality. So basically, what we’re being told is, “Don’t notice my dick, but acknowledge and respect my ladybrain.”

Seriously, women. Seriously. THIS is what the dominant culture has come to accept, to push upon us – ladybrains. (And they’re also pushing the idea of gentlemenbrains, but that’s for another post.) And we’re supposed to be too dumb and accommodating to question it (because Lady Brain).

Just today, on Twitter, a man asked a woman “So you reject the point of view that some people do not have their brains wired in a way that matches their genitals?” Uh, fuck YES we reject that. As women, we’d be working against ourselves to embrace that pathetically stupid, and profoundly dangerous idea.

“Brains wired to match genitals” –  what does that even mean? Vaginabrain? Penisbrain? Seriously? Are you HIGH? Is the whole fucking culture high? What does that even mean? I’m sorry if I sound delirious with incredulity, but I am delirious with incredulity. My lady brain can’t take anymore of the asinine, woman-hating bullshit that surrounds this issue.

Quick aside for a little context: this question was raised as part of a larger conversation about how very mean ladies have expressed concern about being raped in bathrooms. Seriously, guys. Lay off women’s space – we don’t have much of it, and I can guarantee you a trip to the ladies room with your lady brain won’t make you feel any more “womanly.” Then again, what the fuck do I know? I’m just a woman with a lady brain.

And on that note, I’m off to go shopping for pink sparkly things, while eating copious amounts of chocolate. Of course, I’ll probably have to do all my shopping online, since I can’t drive. Or park.  Fucking hell — how does the internet work? Hopefully there’s a dude around who can explain it to me.

Oh how my lady brain renders me helpless.








26 thoughts on “Where is my lady brain?

    1. UUUUgh… the “lady brain” explanation for trans women. Science has proven that there is actually no inherent difference in the brains of men and women, but trans women keep trying to explain their glitter eyeliner and plastic surgery with science. Even more horrifying are the parents of young boys and girls who put their children on hormones and allow them to have surgery just because they have “girly” or “boyish” interests and don’t understand that gender binary is unnecessary. It’s okay to like “girl” stuff or “boy” stuff… you don’t have to cut off your penis or breasts or inject yourself with hormones… There is no “wrong” body. There is YOUR body. Don’t tell me that a love of princess bullshit is biologically encoded in my brain or DNA, because it ain’t. I grew up liking ballet and princesses early on because that was what I was “supposed” to like and I was a little kid. When I got older, I liked building things, dirt, riding horses, and gardening. I never felt like I was “in the wrong body” for any of my interests. Why should a healthy child that likes to wear girl or boy clothes feel like their body is what’s wrong, and not society?

      1. Well, those are two completely different things.
        On one hand, there’s the “girly” or “boyish” interests, tastes, inclinations… The gender binary, that’s one of the worst pieces of bullshit enforced by the patriarchy, and I guess everyone here agrees that It’s time to get rid of that shit. Everyone should have the right to wear any kind of clothes they like, any kind of hair style, whatever, and not to be discriminated because of that. And also the right to change their legal name to whatever they like, even if some sexist lawmaker considers that name “girlish” or “boyish”.

        On the other hand, there’s the need some people have to change their bodies. It actually comes from the same patriarchal society expectations that are forced upon us, but let’s face it: society might not become perfect within our lifetime.
        Plenty of people, maybe everyone, has one complex or another about their own body. Some of those can be overcome, I know throughout the years I have conquered some of my own self-perception problems. But that has also brought me the insight, the understanding that it would take me centuries to be completely happy in my own body. I have chosen to take some chemical “shortcut” to change my body instead of my self perception, just like most people in today’s society does. I have chosen to be weak, but I won’t blame myself for doing that, nor blame anyone else.

        And that doesn’t mean that I will stop fighting that patriarchal shit that brought us the wrong perception in the first place. Hopefully someday no one will need to change their bodies to meet expectations. Altough maybe they will still make body modifications for the sake of art, just like tatoos, piercings and whatever they like.

  1. Reblogged this on oopster74 and commented:
    You know, I read something like this, and I think to myself “yeah, they’ve got a point”, but you do miss on thing in your thinking here. You forgot (and somehow, they all forget) that there are transmen too, so it’s not all transwomen causing the problems you claim they do. People transition for as many reasons as there are people transitioning, no matter what some crackpot scientist who chooses to do his research in gay bars might tell you.

    1. Made-up words like “TERF,” “cis gender,” “radscum” and “transmisogyny”? Your entire movement is based on made-up words, lies and propaganda. Get lost.

      1. Good point. The trans movement really couldn’t exist without relying on made-up terms. And, it’s worth nothing, most of their made-up words exist for the sole purpose of silencing women.

      2. TERF is an acronym, cis is a real word, radscum are 2 words combined which should really be separated by a hyphen ie rad-scum as should trans-misogyny.

        When all you can do is criticise and not contribute to the debate, who’s the one that should get lost?

    2. Exactly… I asked you to provide a definition and you never did. That’s why you don’t see any definition.

      And where’s the “TERF lie”? I’m not a TERF (as a man, I cannot claim to be a feminist) and neither are you. Or are you accusing yourself of being a trans AND trans exclusionary? Seeing how little sense you make already, that wouldn’t surprise me.

    3. It’s not “changing your body” that’s the issue. It’s “becoming a woman” by following a gender script. Following the script validates the script. Act in this way or that way to “become a woman.”

      1. Well, sexist gatekeepers get to decide who gets treatment. It’s “follow the script or you’ll be on your own”.

  2. “Quick aside for a little context: this question was raised as part of a larger conversation about how very mean ladies have expressed concern about being raped in bathrooms.”

    Parker Molloy and another one of his pretend nervous break-downs, this time over Carolyn Gage’s piece, “The Ladies’ Room”?

  3. thank you for another laser-sharp post that helps me in my ongoing process of keeping my mind as free as possible from male lies. thank you so much.

  4. That ‘ladybrain’ idea doesn’t really contradict all the other things you listed. Most trans activists don’t buy that ‘ladybrain’ crap, not at a biological level. Obviously people have different minds, but there’s no reliable way to link those differences to biological differences between brains. There’s no known way to look at someone’s brain trough any kind of scan and guess ‘this person likes jazz’ or ‘this person likes women’ or anything like that.

    Some people trans people actually claim that ‘ladybrain’ thing actually exists, but they are the kind of biological determinists who think that people are defined by their genitalia. The ones who say ‘you are a woman until a surgeon makes you a penis’ and similar crap. HBS and their kind.

    Oh, and do you know who else buys that ladybrain crap? Most psychiatrists. When I was seeking treatment, a psychiatrist asked me about my driving skills and commitment on relationships, and then advised me to get a ‘womanly career’. I then asked her if a woman could be allowed to be a doctor. She didn’t get my irony, and answered with a straight face that it would be much more appropriate to be a nurse.

    You know, those are the kind of people who get to choose which trans people get treatment. Makes me think that maybe some of those sexist trans people weren’t sexist to start with, they were just tamed by those gatekeepers.

  5. Reblogged this on cupid is burning and commented:
    Last re-blog. There’s just so much good stuff out there about this transactivism nonsense that has been articulated way better than I could hope to do myself. So here you go. My gift to you is to link you to these kickass blogs. Transactivism is dangerous as hell to the feminist movement and it is absolutely terrifying that so many ‘feminists’ are buying into it without giving it a second of critical thought. Women are being erased. Our reality is being erased. The ability to acknowledge and name our oppression is being disappeared right before our very eyes even while the material reality of this hatred and oppression persists.

  6. Neurosexism is gross, and so is transmisogyny. You seem to fundamentally misunderstand both how cis privilege works, as well as basic biology. I’m sorry you hate the trans women who we cis women should be treating as sisters so much.

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