The danger of subjectivity

“Another reason men resist naming male violence is that men tend to think of the male as the default human. This means they can’t see male patterns as male—they just see them as human.”  – Jennie Ruby, “Male-Pattern Violence”

I have too many anecdotes to name: a friend’s father abused her because her nightshirts “tempted him” and she spent most of her adulthood confused about whether or not she had, however unintentionally, tempted this man to do what he did. Another friend was raped in her dorm and the first question from authorities was, “Why didn’t you have the door locked?” leaving her agonizing, for years, about why she hadn’t locked the door.

When my uncle left my aunt, after thirty-five years of marriage, he left her high-and-dry, claiming she had driven him to cheat because she “spent too much time” with my grandmother who was, then, dying of Alzheimer’s. There were tears (his) and accusations (his) and in the end, my aunt was left utterly confused about who was to “blame” for his affair and subsequent leaving.

When my high-school girlfriend’s brother beat the shit out of me on the front lawn, he claimed I’d “frightened him.” He said he thought I was, perhaps, an intruder. This left me very confused about whether or not he’d just beat me for dating his sister or for, as a rather small teenage girl, “frightening” the muscly six-feet of him.

Men very seldom have to accept blame for the violence they perpetrate. Instead, the burden falls to girls, to women, to the primary victims of male violence. Girls and women are left to clean up the mess, to sort out the horrors, to work through the trauma. This is the very essence of misogyny. These are the very aims of patriarchy.

The “you made me” trope is common as pennies among men who disrespect, humiliate and abuse women. And worse yet, we all fall for it – the door should have been locked, the kid shouldn’t have been wearing nightshirts, the wife shouldn’t have spent so much time caring for her mother.

And this brilliant article made me think of all the more subtle, pernicious ways we shift blame from the male perpetrator to the female victim:

Queer and trans theory does this, too. While it tries to position itself as “radical,” what queer and trans theories do is they negate the legitimacy of not only biology but lived experiences by claiming “we’re all the same – our sex doesn’t matter!” (This is, mind you, no different, whatsoever, than what most men claim when confronted with the reality of male violence.)

Queer and trans theory posits “all experiences are subjective” and to suggest otherwise is “hateful.” Queer/trans theory posits we are all “the same.”

We are NOT all the same. I know that hurts people’s po-mo feelings, but it’s true.

I don’t know about my readers, but as for me, to suggest that I, with my biological, born status as woman, with my history of female socialization, my history of abuse and dresses, my menstruation, my female cancer am the same as a male who has a penchant for high heels and who is able to buy some estrogen so he can grow breasts is fucking insulting.

But in this way queer and trans theories work nicely within oppressive patriarchal constructs – if we can no longer “name,” if we can no longer nail down an actual lived reality, if everything (as queer/trans theory suggests) is subjective then there is nothing to address, no problem at all whatsoever.

Is it any wonder that the dominant culture has wholeheartedly embraced this philosophy?

Queer/trans ideology is anti-revolutionary. It colludes with the dominant paradigm by dismissing every horror, every infraction, every injustice against women as a “figment of our imagination” – or, it frames our grievances as “violence” against males who feel like women. Just as male violence goes unchecked by keeping women confused about who the perpetrator actually is, trans/queer theory attempts to confuse women about their reality.

Under trans/queer theory, biology becomes subjective, and therefore so, too, does misogyny and patriarchy. Queer/trans ideology is nothing more than people (men, mostly) forcing themselves into oppressive gender constructs and wishing away reality. Trans/queer theory is nothing more than men (mostly) renaming violence as “misgendering.”

Of course Laverne Cox made the cover of Time. Our culture loves trans ideology. Trans ideology will make everything nice and right again – no more icky gays, no more mean lesbians refusing to adopt the gender markers imposed upon them – males will behave as men and females will behave as women, and we have the medical ability to make that happen, damnit! Girls will like tutus and pink, boys will like firetrucks and baseball bats and if they don’t, we will give them drugs to make them “right.”

If this isn’t some serious Orwellian dystopian shit, then I don’t know what is.

Worst of all, trans/queer ideology triumphs, almost exclusively, at the expense of girls/women. Mark my words, every victory for “transwomen” is a victory for males, for the male worldview, for patriarchy.  When we embrace the trans/queer ideology, we have agreed to be complicit in the continued subjugation of women: because according to this way of thinking, we’re all the same, no one suffers differently, there is no such thing as female because female can mean anything a man wants it to, and there’s no such thing as male violence because, according to men, there is no such thing as male.

Who does queer/trans ideology benefit, really? Ask yourselves that, sisters.

On “lesbians as villains”

Hey. Remember when straight males gave up their spaces to lesbians? Remember when males, en masse, worked really tirelessly to end rape culture? Remember when straight males cared for their gay brothers during the height of the AIDS crisis? Or remember when males listened to the concerns of females without shouting “NOT ALL MEN”? Remember when males, even those who felt like women, respected women’s boundaries? Remember that? Of course you don’t remember any of this, because it never fucking happened.

Among the myriad of things males haven’t done (or haven’t had to do, owing to their privilege), males haven’t had to relinquish space to females, much less lesbians. Males haven’t had their boundaries crossed repeatedly only to be called “hysterical” or “unreasonable.” And yet, at every turn, women – lesbians in particular – are being asked to step-aside, to eat our fears, to cow tow to the precious feelings of males who believe they are entitled to women’s space, to lesbian space.

And this post, dear readers, is going to focus pretty damn squarely on lesbians and the trans agenda.

One of the frequent complaints from the MtT community, in particular, is that the GLBT community doesn’t prioritize the “T” enough.  As a lesbian, I can understand that sentiment. Lesbians have been consistently marginalized by the community we allegedly belong to – within the big rainbow homo community, gay men’s interests have always taken center stage. (Because gay men are males.) Furthermore, given our status as women who are more interested in women than men, the larger culture has always dismissed and ignored lesbians’ concerns and, at times, our very existence.

Recognizing this, lesbians have worked hard to create community, our own safe spaces – MichFest, though not exclusively lesbian, being one. (We used to have dyke marches, and that was really cool, but those have now been destroyed by bullshit queer-polyamorous-unicorn bullshit rhetoric and co-opted by straight males who think they are lesbians.)

As lesbians, we need time away from dicks and maleness and mansplaining and transplaining. We need time away from po-mo hypothesizing about “what makes a woman.” We need time away from fear. We need time away from lesbophobia. We are fucking sick to the back teeth of it. We are exhausted and we need a fucking break. Trans/queer concerns are NOT lesbians’ concerns. Trans/queer politics are NOT helpful, or even good, for lesbians. (Far be it for me to stop anyone from waxing poetic on whether or not penis is female, but for the love of the fucking gods, let women have a minute away from this incessant noise that in no way serves our – women’s/lesbians’ –best interest.)

But back to the GLBT thing. Yeah, I get it. Trans folk feel like outsiders in the GLBT community. (Again, as a lesbian I completely understand that feeling.) Trans folk feel like the GLBT community doesn’t take all of their variances into careful account when discussing matters impacting the GLBT community – though, to be perfectly honest, what IS the GLBT community anymore? We take on everyone. We have no vision anymore, much less cohesion – straight? Asexual? GenderQueer Libertarian trans-martian? Everyone’s welcome! – but I digress.

Trans folk are upset that “the community” (quotes are deliberate) doesn’t prioritize their needs. So who do they get angry with? Gay men? Bi-sexual women? The straight people who have overrun Pride Events? Nope. They get mad at the mean ol’ lesbians. I mean, consistently. Lesbians are pretty much held solely responsible for harming trans people – MtT’s in particular.

For example, this from a trans-activist’s blog about a Midwestern Pride Event:

There is a segment of the crowd that isn’t just forgetting there’s a T in LGBT. They are opposed to trans inclusion. They want to attend a cis lesbian-gay-and-maybe-bisexual festival. In particular, there are cis lesbians present who don’t want to let trans women into “their” spaces – like the women’s bathrooms or the “Wom!n’s Lounge and Café.” (Costello, “If We Can’t Get it Right”)

Okay. So first off, fuck your “cis.” There is no such thing as a “cis lesbian.” Secondly, lesbians don’t own women’s bathrooms. Lesbians are not the only women who are concerned about males occupying that space. What’s ironic is that MtT’s don’t want to use the men’s bathroom because they are frightened of male aggression. Women don’t want MtT’s in their bathrooms because MtT’s are male and women are frightened of male aggression. Whose fault is this? Lesbians fault, of course! Makes sense, right?

Well guess what, fellas? Lesbians didn’t invent male aggression. Lesbians don’t systemically rape and abuse women – MALES do that. Males who have been socialized to feel entitled to women’s bodies and women’s spaces (and yes, even the most tenderhearted male with the most ladylike brain has been socialized thusly).

And if anyone thinks “being raped in the bathroom” isn’t a legitimate concern, here is a small sampling of articles that even the most cursory Google search will bring up on instances of women, in one case a child, being raped in bathrooms:

What do all the perpetrators have in common? They are MALE. They have penises. This is a legitimate concern, even if it hurts the feelings of males who think they are women. This is NOT a lesbian issue, this is a women’s issue, this is a MALE AGGRESSION issue even if it’s most convenient for MtT’s to blame lesbians.  If the MtT movement wasn’t so fueled by male socialization, male ego and entitlement, MtT’s might be able to recognize that women, justifiably, sometimes don’t feel safe around male bodies and penises.

As to the music festivals, organizations, “dyke marches” (again, quotes deliberate) – those were all spaces and events created by lesbians for women. Those were places that were sacred and necessary. Those were places where we could talk without having to cater to the male ego, where we could commiserate with others who had shared experiences, where we could feel safe, where we could be center stage for a few precious fucking moments. No one seems to notice (or care) that in the MtT agenda it is lesbians who are being imposed upon the most – not gay men, not straight women, and certainly not straight men. It is lesbian space that is being co-opted and disrespected. No one wants to acknowledge that it is becoming increasingly acceptable to call lesbians “bigots” for knowing that penis is male, for acknowledging  that males are male – even if they’re wearing earrings and calling themselves “dykes.”

In fact, in trans ideology, lesbians are seen as the ultimate villain – because we tend to believe in the authenticity of womanhood, because we tend to prioritize females, because we tend to understand that our biology is real and important (and not just a conceit), because we tend to reject outmoded, harmful notions like “ladybrain,” and we tend to reject gender norms. And worst of all, many of us tend not to give a fuck whether or not we earn male approval – in a patriarchal society, this will always be seen as a threat.

So for the trans folk, particularly MtT’s (who are, in fact, the ones encroaching upon female space ), I am sorry our culture has sold you a bill of goods about gender. I am sorry that, as males, you have been conditioned to believe that women are “mean” when they refuse to put your feelings ahead of their own safety. I am sorry that you despise women, like myself, who recognize reality (i.e. penis is not female, straight men are not lesbians). I am sorry that the medical community has played you, has made you believe that any amount of surgery, any amount of synthetic hormone will ever make your biological reality different from what it is and always will be. But trans folk need to remember that, while radical feminists and lesbians may hurt their feelings, while radical feminists and lesbians may fundamentally disagree with trans ideology,  those who actually harm, who actually abuse trans people are the same who actually harm and abuse women: males.

So in that one, tragic, regard it seems we have something in common.

Your dick is not an assumption

I’ve been pretty up front on this blog about the fact that my impetus to create it arose from abject horror at the way lesbian communities (in particular) were being colonized/destroyed. Suddenly, organizations and publications that previously focused on the needs of women, on topics of import for women, were now focused squarely on the interests of males who feel like women. Such interests – pronouns, access to hormones and surgeries, entry into women’s restrooms, theorizing on penises – are in no way important to women’s liberation or women’s actual experiences. They may be very important to trans folk, but they have precious little to do with the issues actually facing women. And yet, women are expected to take these issues on in spaces that once were for and about them. Very few people are outraged over this, because very few people truly care about women and fewer still care about lesbians.

One aspect of queer/trans ideology that I find deeply disturbing is the fact that it’s become perfectly acceptable for straight men to adapt stereotypical female dress and behavior and be considered “lesbians.” As academic Sheila Jeffreys says of the term “woman,” I believe the term lesbian to be “an honorific.” Lesbian is more than a sexuality; it is a fuck you to compulsory heterosexuality, it is a rejection of male supremacy/male worship, it is, in and of itself, a form of political radicalism that does not provide space – sexually or otherwise – for males and their egos.

Of course, to appease the male gaze lesbian sexuality has been fetishized in pornography and in popular culture. Men absolutely love lesbians when lesbians are not lesbians. So I guess it stands to reason that men who are not lesbians would love the idea of being a lesbian. (And there is a very large number of MtT’s who identify as lesbians – this is more than mere coincidence.)

Now, for straight males who think they are lesbians, sustaining this ruse becomes tricky if other lesbians recognize . . . wait for it . . . REALITY. Since lesbians are attracted to women/females, it’s going to be pretty difficult for a male who thinks he’s a lesbian, with his male body and dick, to date them. However, the trans movement has created some super snazzy po-mo rhetoric to address this problem. That rhetoric asserts that biology is “subjective.” I mean, because if biology is subjective, then what are all you dykey broads gettin’ all upset about when a dude wants to hang out in your lesbian orgs and maybe fuck you?

It’s like some trans-Jedi mind trick whereby women are hypnotized into believing penis is a female organ if the Obi-Wan in ladyface says so.

In any case, a male who thinks he’s a lesbian recently wrote an adorable article on this very topic for Autostraddle – a publication that for a fraction of a second was actually for and about lesbians. In this article, he spews out the usual trans nonsense about biology. It’s no accident that such articles routinely appear in publications geared toward young women (often young lesbians) and not in, say, Maxim. This ideology is designed expressly to convince women that penis is female and that males have a right to claim the little bit of safe space we have managed to eke out for ourselves.

I want to address a couple “greatest hits” from this Autostraddle article, starting with this one:

Time and time again, transmisogynists and transphobes go back to that old excuse that they are just standing up for the reality of “biological sex” when they spew their ignorance and hate. (Rude, “It’s Time”)

This is a pattern in trans-logic – if you believe in established, verifiable realities, you are “ignorant” and “hateful.” MtT’s who think they are lesbians, in particular, do not want women to believe in biological reality because it’s biological reality that keeps them from being able to sleep with lesbians.

But it was this one that really made me laughcry:

It’s pretty bizarre that we place so much importance on an assumption that doctors make when we’re born. (Rude)

What motherfucking assumptions? Your dick is not an assumption.  And yes “how bizarre” that we place importance on the things doctors say about our bodies. Next time I’m due for a checkup, I’ll be sure to call the nearest man who thinks he’s a lesbian to tell me about my overall health. I mean, I wouldn’t want to subject myself to the zany assumptions of doctors. Seriously, sisters. Are you hearing this shit? Is it loud and clear enough yet?

And lastly, this gem of reason and logic:

If an alien civilization found earth, they wouldn’t look at a person with a penis and say, “Oh, that must be a male . . .” (Rude)

No. Probably not. What’s his point? That because space invaders would have a different word for sex that means penis is female? Germans have a different word for male than English speakers do, so does that mean penis is female? Is this person high? And seriously, if your ideology relies on hypothetical martians to make a point, I have to question its legitimacy. All women should question the legitimacy of this bullshit.

And it’s bullshit. I understand being skeptical of science, particularly from a female standpoint. Science, and the language of science, has historically been used as a tool to marginalize women. And in a world where we have a cure for limp dick, but not breast cancer, it’s perfectly appropriate to claim medicine has a long way to go in terms of prioritizing women. However, in the year 2014, it is ONLY RATIONAL to believe in biology. It is LOGICAL to accept that there are scientific facts and realities. And I, for one, will be taking my biology lessons from scientists and my medical advice from doctors and NOT delusional males who want to convince me to ignore reality so they can have access to my space, so they can call themselves lesbians and me a bigot for not believing them.

I feel lucky that I was able to, as a baby-dyke, be free of this misogynist, homophobic bullshit. I could call myself a lesbian and everyone knew what I meant. I could figure out who I was among other women who, like me, had once been girls. I was able to take part in lesbian organizations and events when they were uncontaminated by the precious needs of the male ego. I could find places to be away from males and male behavior. And it was awesome. I needed those spaces, and my heart breaks for all my young lesbian sisters who will never know how amazing that was – when you could just be a lesbian, a female, and any man who dared lay claim to those honorifics was dismissed. Sex matters. Biology matters. Sisters, do not let fools persuade you otherwise. I can assure you trans theory has little (if anything) to do with us, and I can guarantee you trans theory does not have our best interests in mind.

* The referenced article by Mey Rude may be found on Autostraddle. (I ain’t linking to that shit here.)

Yeah . . . no

I’m not in the habit, on this blog, of naming individuals who make asses of themselves on the internets. As Sr. Aloysius says in the play Doubt, “I’m more interested in actions.” This entry will be no exception.

Yesterday, a trans activist – who has been given space on both Transadvocate and Swirl Radio — openly, frantically emoted on Twitter, mostly against Cathy Brennan. The display was truly sad and disturbing – one moment updating his followers on the status of a dying family member, the next moment attacking a woman whose ideology upsets him.

The spectacle was depressing, really. Mental illness has been a scourge on my own family line, and I have absolute empathy for those who suffer from it. However, the buck stops at death threats.

At one point in this person’s tirade, he threatened the lives of not only Cathy Brennan, but also her children. Those of you who saw the Tweet know it was bone chilling.

Not only was it disturbing, but the death threat was preceded by incessant manipulative declarations of “if she doesn’t . . .”

Where have we heard this before? This is the rhetoric of rapists, of abusers. “If you don’t put out/apologize/be nice, then I will rape/murder/kill.” This is the rhetoric of violent men.  This is a trans activist that has been vetted and legitimized by the trans community. Sisters, THIS is what the movement defends.

I can guarantee you if a lesbian feminist had threatened the lives of a MtT’s children, it would be plastered across the front of the Huffington fucking Post. If a lesbian feminist drew a shitty cartoon of a MtT, it would be considered a human rights violation. And yet – shock of shocks – I see no radical feminists drawing bigoted, ugly caricatures of  MtT’s. I see virtually no radical feminists threatening the lives of MtT’s or their families.

What I do see is women being critical of the trans-nonsense. What I do see is women standing up for themselves, much to the hostile chagrin of men who “feel like ladies.” What I do see is violently male abuse from men who insist on having access to women’s space.

Conveniently, the man who threatened Cathy Brennan and her children with death “can’t remember” what he wrote. He was “blackout drunk.” Oh, and also, his brother was dying. That makes it okay, right?

You know what? I’ve had some real tragic shit happen in my life. I’ve been damn angry.

But you know what I’ve never done? Threatened to kill someone. That, I’ve never done.

I’ve also known some profoundly mentally ill folks, and you know what they never did? Threaten to kill someone.

If you threaten to kill someone, that’s on you. That’s YOUR psychosis. That’s YOUR problem, and you have to own it.

If you can’t handle dissent, if ideological differences upset you to such a degree that you’re willing to threaten children, then brother, your problems transcend Twitter – get thee to a mental health institution!

Sisters, here are your trans activists – a violent, mentally ill man and his idiot brethren.

(By the way, a defender of this man is another man who plagiarizes this blog and draws woman-hating cartoons.)

Adios, liberalism

To be perfectly honest, I never felt comfortable exclusively towing any one popular ideology. In my adulthood, I’ve been critical of everything from the “girl power” movement to gay marriage. The latter, I was especially critical of – I felt that rather than dismantling the structures that oppressed women and gays/lesbians, the LGB community was fighting way too hard for a place within that oppressive structure.  Indeed, the LGB community poured all of its efforts into conforming to a hetero-normative, patriarchal institution, rather than seeking to destroy it.

I’m something of a writer. Many years ago, before gays were allowed to legally marry, when that idea was just a gleam in a bunch of homos’ eyes, I gave a reading on the subject. I opened my piece with, “I don’t give a fuck about gay marriage.” The crowd gasped. This was not what they were expecting from the butch dyke who stood before them. But I didn’t care, and I went on to illustrate why — among my grievances was that marriage is a patriarchal simulacra built around subordination. (I made it sound far less dully academic, I can assure you.) Afterwards, a man approached me and asked, “Were you worried about the married couples in the audience?”

“No,” I said. “Why?”

“You might have hurt their feelings,” he replied.

He was laughing, he was cool with what I’d said, but was looking out for the others.

God bless him, and god bless the U.S.A. – here is a country where we don’t give a flying fuck about the poor, the sick, the starving, but goddamn do we value people’s precious feelings! You can shoot a kid while he’s holding a bag of candy and be acquitted of murder, but if you hurt someone’s feelings? You hurt a white person’s feelings? You hurt a white male’s feelings? By god! We will not STAND for that!

A basketball player can rape women until the sun comes up, but if he dares use a homophobic slur – FIRE HIM! A wealthy white man can run slums, rip off and harass poor people of color, but if he utters a racist slur – FIRE HIM! I’m not advocating for the use of pejoratives, on the contrary, I’m trying to illustrate how utterly fucking ridiculous it is that we ignore true, tangible injustices and get all bent out of shape about “feelings.”  (Truthfully, people who use racial/misogynist/homophobic slurs tend to be bad people because of their ACTIONS not their words.) Words are fucking meaningless. And yet we go after the words instead of the deeds, as though erasing the words will erase the reality.

It’s much easier to police language, to put certain lines of inquiry “off limits” than it is to change, or challenge, the dominant paradigm.  It’s much easier to say, “Yeah, my daughter who likes trucks must be male” than to question the oppressive system that says she can’t like trucks AND be female. It’s much easier to say, “Yeah, dude-bro is a lady because he says he is,” than it is to push back and say, “Wait a motherfucking second – what does this mean for women?” It’s much easier to cry, “you’re hurting my feelings – stop it!” than it is to reconfigure the very structures that allow your feelings to be systemically hurt.

Instead, we’re choosing the lazy route: conform to fit an existing, harmful framework. Spare people’s feelings rather than challenge their delusions.

As a woman, I’ve implicitly understood that the world does not, will not, cater to my feelings. As a woman, I’ve implicitly understood that the world will purposefully hurt my feelings. I have never fought on behalf of language policing – language has never been mine, and all of the language that exists has been designed to marginalize me and my sisters. The language-police/feeling-police phenomenon is distinctly male. “Pronouns as violence” is a laughably male conceit – especially to women who have been called “bitch” since they were in their early adolescence.

In terms of language, the language of modern, accurate, science and biology is perhaps the only language that’s ever been beneficial to women and now that’s being trampled by “men who feel like women” and “queer theory.”

Many commenters on this blog (males, mostly) have asked, “Well, you’re a lesbian. Isn’t lesbian just a feeling/conceit?” Yeah, I suppose it is. Frankly, I’m not bothered by the “born this way” vs. “choice” controversy surrounding gay issues. I’ll continue loving women regardless of what conclusions anyone draws. One can theorize on homosexuality all they like, makes no difference to me. However, my femaleness is not subjective. I was born female and that’s a scientific fact. I have the biological parts and the socio/psychological baggage to prove it.

So if “liberal” means “anything goes,” here is where I part ways with liberalism. I’m not going to be bullied into believing the sky is yellow and up is down; I ain’t gonna follow all y’all off the gender-religion cliff.

Where does it end?

It should come as no surprise to women that it is women who are, often, the loudest defenders of allowing males into female space. After all, we’ve been groomed, from day one, to accommodate males/male ego, usually to our own detriment. Women have also been groomed to mistrust other women. We need look no further than the stories our culture tells – in literature, in film – to see how rarely women are presented as liking one another, much less trusting one another. (“Divide and conquer” is a common strategy long used by oppressors to prevent uprisings.)

It should also come as no surprise that it is males who are least inclined to respect females’ boundaries; when boundaries are drawn, males will gaslight, shout, name call, and rape. As women, patriarchal scaffolding dictates we must perceive the anger of males as “just indignation.” As women, the dominant paradigm insists that in the face of male dissatisfaction, we must view ourselves as culpable. And so, it should come as little surprise that MtT’s spend the vast majority of their “activism” working to violate women’s boundaries – MichFest, rape crisis centers, lesbian organizations – and that females are all-too-often the ones supporting them in their “cause.”

Given all of this, I shouldn’t have been as utterly dismayed as I was to read the following in the Huffington Post, a piece on MichFest written by a woman who is also a lesbian:

“Once, I would have agreed with the only-born-as-a-woman policy and said, “No, if you still have a penis or an Adam’s apple, you are not a woman, and therefore you are not allowed into MichFest.” Now I find such a view as embarrassing as my leather pants. One reason for such an event is to end the isolation of a group of people who have been kept down in society. Who could be more isolated than a male-assigned person who is really a woman — transsexual or a woman in transition who has always felt like a woman but has never been welcomed into the women’s communIty? I believe that anyone who identifies as a woman should able to attend.” (Zelman, “Everything Changes”)

The bit that stands out to me most is the phrase that illuminates just how bamboozled women have been by the trans/queer agenda: “Who could be more isolated than a male-assigned person who is really a woman . . .”

Hmm. Who could be more isolated than that? I don’t know . . . maybe a little girl who is being sexually abused by a relative? A young woman of color who has been raped? A lesbian who is being told she is a bigot for not wanting sex with males? A female child who has been sold into prostitution? A woman who is being told her desire for space away from men is a human rights violation?  Shall I go on? Shall I name all the horrors that are part of many, many women and girl’s daily realities? Horrors that, I would argue, isolate and harm far more than any “denial to access a music festival” ever could?

Moreover, if we are to adopt what this writer (and so very many others) are suggesting, “Anyone who identifies as a woman should be able to attend” – does that mean if my bearded, masculine father calls himself a “woman” for a day, he should be able to attend, too? Where does this end? Where does this ideology go from political correctness to madness? (I would contend it has already.)

One must ask why MtT’s cannot create their own shelters, their own sacred spaces. Could it be that as males, they see women’s spaces as foreign lands it would be exciting to visit? Could it be that as males they feel entitled to colonize women’s spaces (as men have done for thousands of years)? Why this insistence on either a) destroying or b) appropriating spaces that have been designed expressly to cater to females and the distinct female experience?  If I call this pointed destruction of women only space misogyny will I be called transphobic? Surely.

* And as an aside, there is an incredibly strong undercurrent of racism that runs through the language of many MtT trans activists. A question that’s been posed to me on this blog is, “Do you think there should be ‘white only’ spaces?” Well, no. I don’t. Whites are not oppressed. The United States itself is “white only” space. Just like males are not oppressed – particularly not white males. And I do, unequivocally, believe people of color, women of color, are entitled to spaces away from white people and white women. Just like I believe women are entitled to space away from males. Lesbians are entitled to space away from straight people. The oppressed are all, in my view, entitled to, and deserving of, space away from their oppressors and the egos of their oppressors.

Which brings me to another branch of this discussion. We cannot examine the insistence of MtT “activists” on having access to women’s spaces without examining the MtT’s insistence on having access to lesbian bodies. This is perhaps the most troubling and terrifying aspect of trans/queer ideology. We have reached a place where lesbians are regularly called “phobic” for resisting acceptance of penis as female, for resisting sexual engagement with male bodies.  We are told to “examine our transphobia” and to “reconsider the penis.” (If this is not 1950s style reparative therapy, I don’t know what is.) We are told that penis is not a tool of rape. We are told we should be comfortable with exposure to male genitalia in our restrooms, our locker rooms, our women-only events.

If one ever doubts the male ego fueling the MtT trans “movement,” let us consider this rampant insistence – “we should have your space,” “our interests should take precedence over yours,” “you should have sex with us or else you’re hateful.”

As a lesbian, I’ve had my fair share of crushes on straight women. However, I’ve never felt entitled to straight women (or other lesbians, for that matter). I have never insisted that a straight woman “reconsider” her desire not to have sex with other women. I have never called a straight woman a “homophobe” for not reciprocating an interest in me. To do so would be madness. To do so would be to transgress human decency. To do so would be to actively partake in rape culture.

And to be perfectly honest, I do not know a single lesbian who has ever operated this way. I do, however, know – from first hand experience and anecdotes – plenty of men (including those who “feel like women”) who have done precisely what I’ve just described.  Instead of resisting it, as women should, the queer/trans ideology has taught us to embrace it. Queer/trans ideology has told us if we resist our own colonization, if we resist the rape-rhetoric of “male lesbians,” then we are bigots. This is a lie.

Lastly, I know plenty of males read this blog. I see their comments. They call me a bitch. They tell me to burn in hell. They tell me, on my own blog, to “shut up.” Their woman-face/woman-identity cannot belie their male privilege and conditioning.  But really, I don’t care about these men. I care about women. I care about the fact that this issue is, like every other outpost of the patriarchy, pitting females against one another, forcing females to work against their best interest in order to placate males, encouraging women to dismantle the only safe spaces that exist to them while convincing us our self-harm is “revolutionary” or in some way “liberating,” asking us to celebrate our own erasure, to sacrifice our needs, our gains at the altar of male ego.

That’s what is tragic to me.

* Link to the Huffington Post article referenced above may be found here: